Thanks to recent cuts in NASA funding, the future of manned space travel is, at best, unclear. So, whenever little Jimmy tells you that he wants to be an astronaut, you can finally crush his aspirations without bruising his delicate ego. Instead, just crap on his hopeless pipedreams of excellence by explaining the truth.
Jimmy: Mommy, I want to be an astronaut when I grow up!
Mom : Sorry, Jimmy. But due to the misguided allocation of government resources and mankind's inability to progress beyond territorial conflicts and disagreements over omniscient sky men, your dreams of space travel are now as dead as that stupid goldfish you overfed. In the meantime, here's a book on trading in commodities. I guarantee that you'll find quarterly reports and derivatives to be even more exciting than the unexplored terrain of distant exoplanets.
Jimmy: Wow! Thanks, Mom!
All joking aside, here's a series of out-of-work astronaut photos (after the jump) by Hunter Freeman that will seriously make you want to dip your scrotum into a black hole. Unless the mass of your scrotum is greater than that of a black hole. Like mine. Then you're just out of luck.
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